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15 Things Africans Hate

It always bears repeating. These are out of the question.


1. Turbulence

If you want to see prayer warriors in action, just watch how Africans react to flight turbulence. "Jesus is lawd!" is a favorite. Depending on the route of the flight you just might hear that aunt that checked in excessive luggage on route to Nigeria speaking in tongues.

"Shokolokobangoshe!"

2. Incorrect Western Union control numbers

There's no better feeling than when cousin Kwasi who lives in D.C. sends money home to Nana in the village. But when that wire doesn't hit because he gave her the wrong code, Kwasi is guaranteed to get cursed by the gods.

Don't be surprised if you lose your phone or house keys the next day.

3. Salad as a meal

So you mean to tell me that you want me to eat the same stuff we feed goats for lunch?

4. Nigerians

OK, Africans don't really hate Nigerians but they do. Nigerians simply do the most, they're loud, obnoxious, confident and ostentatious.

Obviously, this isn't true of all Nigerians, but because Africans perceive them to be, well...

5. Darkness

Every African has heard the stories of witches and demons engaging in rituals coming out of the bush at night. We hate that shit.

6. Cold Weather

It's hot as fuck in Africa, what do you mean I gotta wear a coat?

7. Atheists

We bind you in the name of Jesus!

8. Disrespectful Children

The only time-out a spoiled child gets is one from nursing his/her swollen butt cheeks from a leather slipper beating.

9. Europeans

Colonialism, never forget.

10. NGO images of shirtless kids with big stomachs and flies swarming

Do I really need to explain why we hate this shit?

11. Wrinkled Clothing:

If there were an Olympics for ironing clothes Africans would get all of the medals. It's like every uncle learned how to press creases into his pants from the Navy or something.

12. Natural hair/dreadlocks

This one's tricky, because while the natural hair revolution has been a thing with Africans in the diaspora, many on the continent still see weaves and extension as the beauty standard.

13. Packing light

This is a sign of selfishness. How dare you come back home and not bring loads of random shit back for your 12 aunties, 15 uncles and 5,022 cousins.

14. Building numbers

With the exception of maybe South Africa, if someone gives you their address, you better ask them to describe the color of the house, what kind of trees grow in front of it, churches and mosques in the neighborhood and more.

15. Sunglasses

The African sun shines bright like a diamond, but rather than cop a pair of cheap sunglasses to block them rays, folks would rather squint.

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Photo courtesy of Junior Achievement Africa

Tonight, Come Join Junior Achievement Africa in New York City

Frank Aswani, Special Advisor for Strategic Initiatives at Higherlife Foundation will be giving the keynote speech at the Facebook offices about investing in Africa's future.

Sponsored content from Junior Achievement Africa

In just 15 years, Africa will have the largest workforce in the world. How we prepare them now will determine the course of our businesses and our economies.

JA Africa is moving the needle of youth economic empowerment in Africa, bridging the gap between education and the world of work through: Entrepreneurship education, Financial literacy and Workforce-readiness. Over 240,000 students are equipped each year with the knowledge and tools they need to succeed in the workforce and take on business leadership in the future.

Photo courtesy of Junior Achievement Africa

Join JA Africa, Facebook and OkayAfrica for an evening to learn why youth economic empowerment is important in Africa and how you too can invest in Africa's future. You will hear the stories of JA Africa alumni—brilliant young Africans who are changing the trajectory of the continent.

Our keynote speaker, Frank Aswani, Special Advisor for Strategic Initiatives at Higherlife Foundation, will also be speaking about the importance of work and economic growth for youth. Until last month, Frank led the Business Development team at African Leadership Academy delivering on corporate partnerships, network development and managing strategic relationships.

We hope to see you this Friday, September 21st at 6:30 PM at Facebook's office: 225 Park Avenue South. Email juniorachievementafrica@eventsatfacebook.com with your full name and email address to RSVP.

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Photo: Zahara Abdul.

The Spirit of Nyege Nyege, Africa's Best Underground Music Festival

It was a non-stop four-day celebration of music, art and culture.

The thousands of local and foreign party-goers who made their way to the Nile Discovery Beach Resort in Jinja, Uganda for this year's MTN Nyege Nyege festival had a weekend of intense fun in store for them

Upon arrival, visitors are greeted by the town's most significant geographical sight. Jinja Town prides itself of sitting right along the northern shores of Lake Victoria, next to the source of the River Nile. From several parts of the district, one can get a stunning view of the famous river as it starts its journey to the Mediterranean Sea.

The annual four-day festival also breathes life into this otherwise laid-back and charming town. With the introduction of MTN as a sponsor, Nyege Nyege promised a bigger and better event. This would include a venue tripled in size, with two additional stages (Spirit of UG stage and Dark Star Stage) and a larger self-contained camping area. For those who do not favour camping, there were several hotels and guesthouses near the city centre, a few minutes by motorcycle taxi (bodaboda) to the venue.

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Audio

Mannywellz & Adekunle Gold's 'Yeoo' Will Soundtrack Your Weekend

You're going to have this one on repeat.

Mannywellz is a buzzing Nigerian-born artist whose music blends influences from hip-hop, RnB and West African rhythms. His recent Soulfro EP has earned him millions of streams online and he's even opened for Jidenna on tour across the US.

Manny is now sharing his latest single "Yeoo," an uplifting and addictive remix of his Soulfro standout track that sees him link up with Nigeria's Adekunle Gold.

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