Our Perverse Guide to South African Politics

In the run-up to the South African election, Tommy Dennis presents a 'Perverse Guide to South African Politics.'

Democratic Alliance

Helen Zille will buy more black people to attend DA rallies. She will kiss your father, mother, uncle, and aunt as long as they’re black and there are cameras to catch it all. The DA White Federation will bring more neo-liberalist entities like the World Design Capital to South Africa. Following the failed marriage between the DA and Agang, Helen Zille will chemically darken her skin and become a black person in order to woo black voters. When the DA wins the election, Monocle Magazine will devote an entire issue to Maboneng’s design aesthetic.

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