'Do Not Trust The Pilgrims'

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This time every year we like to remind our readers that Wednesday Addams aka "Pocahontas" is the sh*t:

You have taken the land which is rightfully ours.

Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations.

Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs.

We will sell our bracelets by the roadsides.

You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres.

My people will have pain and degradation.

Your people will have stick shifts.

The gods of my tribe have spoken, they have said "Do not trust the pilgrims."