Collage by Ta'Ron Joyner.

A Wild Goose Chase Named Orgasm

'I had always assumed that my sexual abuse trauma was to blame for my lost orgasms', writes Christy Chilimigras. 'But is it just the trauma?'

This essay is part of OkayAfrica's SA Reframed series, featuring personal writing from some of South Africa's best young writers edited by Verashni Pillay.

We rely on Netflix's algorithm to tell us what to watch next. We'd sooner check an app than open our curtains to know what the weather outside is looking like. We want sex, companionship and attention on tap. Thank you Tinder, thank you Grindr, thank you to the perfectly timed and tactfully worded Instagram DM. We are horses who want to be led to the water, and we'd prefer it if you'd spoon it into our mouths once we get there. We don't want to have to search for the things in life that make us feel good. We'd like them right there, beneath our fingertips at all times.

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