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Dear Omarosa, Be Honest, Are You Really Nigerian?

An open letter to Omarosa on behalf of Nigerians everywhere.

Dear Omarosa, they said you're Nigerian but we don't believe you. Omarosa, I'm sure you've heard the phrase, “Naija no dey carry last," but somehow you managed to carry last on The Apprentice, not once, not twice, but three times. In the Yoruba language, that's what we call an “Olodo." Olodo literally translates to “one who owns zeroes." It is clear that you own Zero wins my sister, you also own all of the Ls as our African American brethren would say.


Dear Omarosa, many of us Africans living in the diaspora don't believe in witchcraft, juju or voodoo, we like to consider ourselves “enlightened." How foolish of us, we must now question everything we learned at Harvard, because, clearly you're acting under evil spirits, you are under demonic oppression, something is wrong and you need deliverance. I know an auntie that slipped through the immigration ban with some strong holy water, please email me so that we can help you.

Dear Omarosa, on your website, you listed that you are an Ambassador and Mentor, who dash you Ambassadorship and to what nation? And you must be mentoring people like Meek Mills given how many zeroes and L's he continues to take. From a particular angle, you guys kind of resemble one another too, but that's another day.

Dear Omarosa, what is this rubbish?

Dear Omarosa, be honest, what did you do to Michael Clarke Duncan? Be honest, this is a safe space.

Dear Omarosa, we need to see your birth certificate and passport, because we know you can't be Nigerian. Which village are you from? Who are your people? Who are your people?!!!

Dear Omarosa, we're tired of you like those 419 email scams, at least those emails gave us hope, they promised us something no matter how implausible, but you, you give us no hope. You're like, Trump, a genital rash that simply won't go away.

Dear Omarosa, stop plagiarizing your nationality, just gerrara here man.

Chinedu Hemingways is a writer based in Houston, Texas. He can be reached at chineduhem@gmail.com.

Interview

A Candid Conversation With Olamide & Fireboy DML

We talk to the Nigerian stars about the hardest lessons they've learned, best advice they've ever been given and what Nigeria means to them.

Olamide and Fireboy DML have been working together for three years, but the first time they sit down to do an interview together is hours after they arrive in New York City on a promo tour.

It's Fireboy's first time in the Big Apple — and in the US — and the rain that's pouring outside his hotel doesn't hinder his gratitude. "It's such a relief to be here, it's long overdue," he tells OkayAfrica. "I was supposed to be here last year, but Covid stopped that. This is a time to reflect and refresh. It's a reset button for me."

Olamide looks on, smiling assuredly. Since signing Fireboy to his YBNL Nation label in 2018, he's watched the soulful young singer rise to become one of Nigeria's most talked-about artists — from his breakout single, "Jealous," to his debut album Laughter, Tears & Goosebumps, hit collabs with D.Smoke and Cuppy, and his sophomore release, Apollo, last year.

Even while he shares his own latest record, UY Scuti, with the world, Olamide nurtures Fireboy's career with as much care and attention as he does his own, oscillating between his two roles of artist and label exec seamlessly. His 2020 album Carpe Diem is the most streamed album ever by an African rap artist, according to Audiomack, hitting over 140 million streams. When Olamide signed a joint venture with US-based record label and distribution company, Empire, in February last year he did so through his label, bringing Fireboy and any other artist he decides to sign along for the ride, and establishing one of the most noteworthy deals on the continent.

Below, Olamide & Fireboy DML speak to OkayAfrica about their mutual admiration for each other, what makes them get up in the morning and how they switch off.

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