Courtesy of Dr T

In Conversation: South Africa's Favorite Sex Doctor Launches a Pleasure Revolution

Dr T's new book 'A Guide to Sexual Health & Pleasure' is bringing real talk about sex and intimacy to women all over the world.

Dr Tlaleng Mofokeng, or "Dr T" as many South Africans refer to her, is a strong Black woman on a mission to change how people talk about sexual health. She's taking what she's dubbed "the pleasure revolution" all over the country and more recently, New York City, with her new book, Dr T: A Guide to Sexual Health & Pleasure.

For close to a decade, this sex expert has written numerous columns and done numerous media interviews speaking on what everyone wants to talk about but doesn't know how. Recently elected as a Commissioner on South Africa's Commission for Gender Equality (CGE), Dr T is unafraid to take up space and speak up on topics she feels are important.

Overwhelmingly popular on social media, she's become a beacon of light in a country dealing with an unceasing war on women. In the midst of a femicide crisis and an alarming culture of gender-based violence, Dr T has been among the many women, Black women especially, throwing a huge middle finger to the dominant patriarchal system. The pleasure revolution, according to her, is not only about tackling the issue of pervasive violence but also reclaiming our power as women. "We can't let them steal all our joy," she says simply.

We caught up with her to talk about her new book, what she hopes the pleasure revolution will achieve and her important work in advocating for the decriminalization of sex work.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.


Would you say that women are more willing to have constructive conversations about sex compared to men?

I think women are more judged for talking about sex. I think the problem is not so much that women don't know how to speak about it, we do. We do enjoy sex, we do know our bodies, we do enjoy them, but the problem is that we get shamed for speaking on the truth. It's not that women are less empowered, or anything, it's just that society in general shames us for being honest about our sexuality.

Do you think in light of what continues to happen in South Africa to women, is a matter of not understanding what consent is, fundamentally?

No. People understand consent, especially when the power dynamic is changed, and suddenly they [men] are the ones with less power, or less autonomy in that situation—suddenly they understand what rights are about, or what consent is about. It's not a lack of understanding really because consent is not just about sex which is what I stress in the book. It's about talking, and understanding consent for everything, including sex.

People do understand consent, and this is why when you talk about sexual violence, or harassment, we always stress the point that it's about power and people generally do things they know they can get away with. It's something that we need to continue to tell children and our women especially because even if we look at romantic movies, if you look at a lot of content around sex, and romance, you really never see consent being actively sought. So even the content that's being created and normalized, is missing a lot of key points around consent.

Dr. T on her book "A guide to sexual health and pleasure"www.youtube.com

Gender-based violence is widespread. What do you think contributes to South Africa's particular brand of gender-based violence and alarming rape statistics?

I think it's because there aren't any consequences. You live in a country where there aren't any consequences for any crime. Literally, anybody can get away with anything, and that speaks to a general problem of policing, of the justice system, and the fact that there isn't enough preventive measures.

Everyone is good at diagnosing the problem, everyone reacts to the statistics, but nobody is willing to put their money on prevention. Prevention encompasses comprehensive sex education in schools which is, however, being opposed by Christian political parties. This is despite research that shows that comprehensive sex education is actually a good life skill to have. You also live in a society where the default setting to solve anything, is violence. Equally, language is important. I always say if you're talking about rape, you must talk about rape. There's no "underage sex", there's nothing like that. It's rape. If you still use the word "sex" to describe rape, that's part of the problem.

Do you think that the government is really tackling this issue as aggressively as they should?

Nah, not if you look at the levels of rape, violence and everything that's happening in the country. It doesn't make sense how we are still carrying on as if life is normal. This is not the first we've had crime stats that suggest that rape is out of control. It's been decade after decade, year after year, month after month and day after day. There is no urgency at all.

"It's almost like someone needs to shake someone awake because there aren't even enough words left to explain the depth of the trauma that all of us have to live with every day."

We're just trying to get to work, get home, get to school, and get back home but you could be a victim at all of these places. Can you imagine the psychology of trying to be a person in South Africa, who could potentially be raped every single day regardless of where you are? The 1 billion Rand set aside by government is for this financial year. The financial year is coming to an end in March, and then what's going to happen?

What is your message to the men in South Africa?

They must just stop raping. That's what they must do. I think all of us are just exhausted from this whole thing, but I think at the end of the day, we also can't let them steal all our joy. Which I think for me is important about the book. We are going to have to re-normalize, and center women's pleasure, and show the power that women have over their own body again. Otherwise, the trap that we end up falling into is that we are going to speak about the violence as if that's the only experience that we've ever had. That's why again, I suppose it's a part of the pleasure revolution to say that, even in this crisis, even with all of that's going on, we do know what is good for our bodies. We do know what sexual expression is, we do know what healthy consensual relationships are. It's precisely because we know those things, that we are demanding better.

There's a section on sexual rights at the end of your book and I know you're a huge advocate in terms of sex work, and getting sex work decriminalized in South Africa. What's the best way to have society get around the idea?

We don't care how they get around it. We want human rights for sex workers. We don't have to understand every single aspect of a person's life for us to then be like, "Oh, now because we understand it, you can have human rights". Human rights don't work that way.

Decriminalization is about removing the penalty in the law. It's not about making sure that children don't get into sex work. It's not about making sure that women are not exploited. It's not about making sure that people are not having sex in the street. That's not sex work because even sex workers are against all of that. Sex workers are against exploitation, sex workers are against trafficking, sex workers are against drugs because that is not sex work.

Would you say there's still a sort of conservatism around speaking about sex in general?

Yeah there is. I think one of the things is that people who are more comfortable to talk about sex, talk about sex. For some reason, people tend to comment more about how outspoken you are as a person, just because you're talking about sex. People think it's inherently taboo, or it's inherently embarrassing, or it's inherently difficult. And I think that is telling, just in terms of the power dynamics around pleasure, for example. When it's women's pleasure that's being discussed, suddenly we have all these "morals" we want to be considered.

"But when it's the pleasure of men, suddenly it's all about freedom and power, in the fact that they must be sexual."

I think the topic of sex, and pleasure, and expression is one that demands that people really introspect in what they believe for themselves, but also what their responsibilities are, once they interact with other people.

You can purchase Dr T's book here or on Amazon.

Events
Photo by Mohau Mannathoko for Unsplash

Fun Places in Accra, Ghana to Visit This Weekend

From Karaoke at The Woods to Outmosphere Festival, Accra is packed with places to have fun.

Gather your squad for some midweek karaoke, go Kizomba dancing at Afrikiko, or drive down to Prampram for Outmosphere Festival.

Whatever your choice of fun is, here is a list of places to visit this weekend in Accra, Ghana.

Karaoke at The Woods

The Woods is a bar and lounge located at Osu that features a cozy and charming space for events perfect for an intimate night out with your partner or a hangout with friends. On Thursday, The Woods will be hosting their Karaoke Night, and it’s the perfect excuse to sing covers of your favorite hits, while enjoying good food and drinks from The Woods’ delectable menu.

Date: Thursday, 1st June, 9pm

Venue: The Woods, Osu

Cost: Free

Kizomba Night at Afrikiko

Afrikiko is one of those must-visit places while in Accra. It’s a restaurant and bar well known for their midweek events—the most notable being their popular Kizomba dancing event hosted by Kizomba Ghana. Participate, learn, or just watch others dance the night away, led by an experienced Kizoma dance tutor.

Date: Thursday, 1st June, 7pm

Venue: Afrikiko

Cost: Free

Movies at Silverbird Cinemas

Silverbird Cinemas is West Africa's biggest cinema chain, with two locations in the premier malls of Accra. You can catch your favorite actors from Hollywood, Nollywood, and even Bollywood on the big screen, or watch local Ghanaian productions from top movie houses in the country. Box office hits like Fast X,Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, and The Little Mermaid are currently screening as well, so if you haven’t seen them yet Silverbird is the place.

Date: Friday 2nd June - Sunday 4th June, 10am – 9pm

Venue: Accra Mall, West Hills Mall

Cost: Tickets starting from GHS50

Grand Opening of Mad Club

If you’re looking for a club event to go to this weekend, Mad Club Accra will be having its grand opening this Friday. On the bill to provide sounds is renowned Nigerian disk jockey and afrobeats hitmaker DJ Neptune, among others. Accra is a city that takes its nightlife seriously, so you can trust that Mad Club’s event will be an epic affair.

Date: Friday 2nd June, 12am

Venue: Mad Club, East Legon

Rooftop Sip & Paint

Sip & Paint Ghana will be hosting an event this Saturday, 3rd June. Participate in a fun painting class while enjoying complimentary wine, finger foods, and art supplies.

Date: Saturday, 3rd June, 8pm

Venue: Arrital Ghana, Airport Residential

Cost: GHS200

Pickup Soccer at Lizzy’s Sports Complex

Lizzy Sports Complex is an all-in-one sports facility comprising four top quality grass and astro turf soccer pitches, and other facilities including a swimming pool, a spacious lounge, a sports bar and grill. It was founded by renowned Ghanaian born French soccer player Marcel Desailly, and it’s the go-to location for friends who are looking to play a few quick games of five-aside pick up soccer.

Date: Saturday, 3rd June - Sunday 4th June, 9am-9pm

Venue: Lizzy Sports Complex, East Legon

Cost: Call to book

Wine Tasting at Vinakoper Wine Festival

For the wine lover, Vinakoper will be hosting the Vinakoper Wine Festival this weekend. Try out 15 different wines from Slovenia and participate in a wine tasting and pairing workshop, for an affordable flat rate.

Date: Saturday, 3rd June - Sunday, 4th June, 10am-11pm

Venue: Accra Polo Court

Cost: Tickets for GHS50

Outmosphere Festival

Outmosphere is an eco-friendly festival designed to empower and connect a generation of hybrid thinkers, self-starters and innovators with shared culture and passion for community driven agenda and creativity. The event is held at a different location each time, and this time around it’s taking place at Prampram, a coastal town 45 minutes away from Accra, known for its beautiful beaches and rich cultural heritage.

Date: Saturday, 3rd June - Sunday 4th June, 1pm-3am

Venue: Prampram, exact venue TBA

Cost: Tickets for GHS100-250



Music

Interview: Nevermind the Legend Talk, Wande Coal Just Wants To Make Good Music

We talk to the Nigerian icon about his fourth studio album, Legend Or No Legend, his much-awaited collaboration with T-Pain, and being the blueprint for Afrobeats.

There is no Mount Rushmore of Afrobeats without Wande Coal. If there ever was an emblem for the hallmark of Afrobeats as we know it today, that emblem would have his face on it.

When Afrobeats slowly evolved from its hip-hop and R&B influences, shepherded by forerunners 2face and D’banj, Wande Coal emerged with arguably one of the most defining imprints on the Nigerian pop scene: his 2009 debut album, Mushin 2 Mo’hits.

Released under the Don Jazzy & D’Banj led Mo’hits record label, Mushin 2 Mo’Hits shot Wande Coal to instant superstardom, spawning hit singles such as “You Bad”, “Kiss Your Hand”, “Bumper To Bumper,” and much more. The sixteen-track album also set the blueprint for Afrobeats melodies, delivery, and the overall soundscape, eventually setting the stage for the rise of pop-icons such as Wizkid, Davido, and more.

It would take another six years after his debut before another Wande Coal album would see the light of day. After a drawn-out departure from Mo’Hits Records to start his own imprint, Black Diamond Entertainment, and an intermittent presence within the music scene, Wande Coal released his critically-acclaimed 2015 sophomore album, Wanted.

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Image courtesy of the artist.

7 Essential Facts About Nonso Amadi's Debut Album

Nonso Amadi explores his musical journey and tells us 7 Essential Facts about his new album, When It Blooms.

Any discourse involving Nigeria’s alternative music scene can’t be complete without mentioning Nonso Amadi.

The 27-year-old singer, songwriter, and producer is a key figure in Nigeria’s “alté renaissance” of 2015-2018, a period responsible for the widespread emergence of a crop of alternative artists, producers, and creatives firmly establishing their niche and creating room for themselves and their art in an industry heavily dominated by afrobeats-centered music, sounds, and aesthetics.

2015 saw Nonso release his first project, the Alone EP, officially launching a career that would quickly usher the young talent into the limelight. Following the EP, his subsequent single “Tonight” put Nonso on the map. The self-produced afro-R&B song established Nonso as one of the leading new voices in Nigerian R&B and alternative music, transcending the niche listenership of the alté community and successfully taking the emergent R&B sound mainstream, in a similar fashion to what the likes of R&B veteran Banky W accomplished.

The next few years saw him release a string of singles, high-profile features with the likes of Mr Eazi, Simi, Kwesi Arthur, and more, and two EPs, all capped by a three-year hiatus. In 2022, he returned to the music scene with “Foreigner.” the lead single off the subject of this story: his debut album When It Blooms. The release of “Foreigner” marked the beginning of a brand new career run, backed by label partners UMG Nigeria, Def Jam Records and Universal Music Canada, in a freshly-inked record deal.

Now close to a decade after the singer’s first output, When It Blooms is finally here. It’s a 15-track project packed with blends of afrobeats, R&B, and more, laced with sonic and lyrical references to his Lagos ties. Nonso’s debut album represents everything he is and has become—a “sonic globetrotter” highly=assertive in his sound and identity.

OkayAfrica spoke to Nonso Amadi about his debut album When It Blooms, and he gave us 7 Essential Facts about the project below.

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Photo by Kendrick Galeri.

Ayobami Oladapo On Winning AMVCA Design For The Stars Runway Competition

The Nigerian designer aims to use the prize money to create her first collection.

Ayobami Oladapo only found out about the Africa Magic Viewers’ Choice Awards fashion competition two days before the deadline. Luckily, that was still enough time to throw her hat into the ring. “I [got] an email a few weeks later that said, ‘Congratulations, you’ve been selected.’ Oladapo’s last-minute move resulted in her winning the second-ever edition of the AMVCA Design For The Stars Runway competition–providing a much-needed boost for her burgeoning fashion label, Statement by Bami. “It’s amazing,” she tells OkayAfrica. “I know for sure that winning this is going to set me up how I want [it] to.”

Created in 2014, the AMVCAs recognize and celebrate the ardent work of TV personalities and content creators across the Nigerian entertainment industry. Through its channel Africa Magic, founding parent company Multichoice has continued to build structures that uplift the industry, including introducing new categories to showcase Nigerian talent, such as the fashion competition, which it established last year.

The ninth edition of the AMVCAs culminated in a glitzy weekend affair over the 20th of May in Lagos. Among the big winners included Tobi Bakre taking Best Actor in a Drama, for Brotherhood; Osas Ighodaro taking Best Actress in a Drama, for Man of God, and Adeola Art-Alade taking Best Costume Designer, for The Real Housewives of Lagos (Reunion Episode).

Fashion has always played a role in the awards, and this year was no different. Celebrities dressed up in both regal and minimalist designs, showcasing their elaborate personalities in the process. Hosting a runway competition only further entrenches its significance at the AMVCAs. The maiden edition, which took place last year, saw Nigerian designers Obinna Omeruo, Sophie Chamberlain, and Felix Asuquo emerge as the winners. This year, Oladapo, who is known by her nickname of Bami, beat contestants like Emerie Udiahgebi of UDIAHGEBI, Emmanuel Goodnews of Just Icon, and Funmibi Olayinka. Last year’s competition was judged by a panel of high-profile fashion personalities, while this year’s was decided upon by public voting.

“I am still in shock, and honestly grateful to God for this win,” she says. “I think that what set me apart from my competitors and caught the eye of the audience was that my designs were simple, and at the same time exaggerated and making a statement. So, simple pieces, but exaggerated designs.”

StatementByBami creates womenswear pieces that juxtapose her brand’s style — easy silhouettes and fitted garments — with the personality of the clients she’s designing for. To that end, she creates highly fitted dresses, onesies and two-pieces, all made from vibrant colors and bold patterns. “My audience [is] women who are super stylists and know what they want. I mostly use silk, lace and a little bit of organza to design for my clients,” she says.

It’s no secret that one of the major challenges faced by fashion brands in Nigeria is access to funding, especially for young brands. This is why platforms like the AMVCAs are important in the grander scheme of things. Their impact allows designers to be expressive, with support as they progress in their journey. Coached by one of Nigeria’s most prolific designers, Ohimai Atafo of Atafo, the designers were tasked with producing a two-look collection consisting of one piece inspired by sponsor Pepsi’s official colors and one piece created for the AMVCA red carpet.

Another challenge facing young fashion brands is the issue of visibility and clientele recognition. With the AMVCAs being such a highly-anticipated event broadcast across a major channel, young designers taking part in the runway competition stand the chance to gain significant exposure. “My hope is that [this win] brings my brand out there, so that people can see me more, and see how creative I am,” Bami says. Although she has been building Statement By Bami for less than three years, she feels people are less willing to associate with brands of her size: “I do think there’s kind of discrimination against small brands but I’m grateful to platforms like this, since they also help us elevate our brands.”

Winning this competition doesn’t mean the difficulties of running a fashion label disappear. But for designers like Bami, it does provide more reason to continue to push on. “I would always advise people to put themselves and their brands out there. There are loads of challenges that come with it, but doing the work, improving oneself, and getting knowledge about the industry is one way to overcome such [things],” she says. And she’s only just beginning. Bami plans to release her first collection on the back of this win.

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